Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Jesus Christ on a delayed flight

As I sometimes do when traveling alone, I was listening to a Good Christianist Bible-Whacking radio station today. As such stations sometimes do, they played a brief "inspirational" segment - in this case, a personal testimonial from one of the Saved.

She recounted an experience in an airport. In short, she was stuck there, and grumpy about it. She was ignoring a woman who was mopping the floor, then the woman spoke to her! She asked the Lamb of God if she was lost, or otherwise in need of assistance within her power to provide. "No", she said, dismissing the woman, but realizing within herself that God had sent that cleaning lady to lift her spirit, and lead her back to The Way.

What a self-obsessed, arrogant, patronizing, sociopathic bitch!

GOD didn't put that woman there to turn her frown upside-down. She was there on her own, probably because she needed the money, and she had been there long before the religion-lady got there, and she was there long after she left. The woman with the mop was being nice because SHE is nice, not because God takes an interest in the moods of an introspective soccer mom in an airport.

The Saved Lady was very pleased with herself for finding yet another way to glorify God in her own mind, but to her, the cleaning lady was literally a cipher - a Message From God, put there for her personal benefit. She made it abundantly clear that cleaning ladies have no significance (or even self-determination) whatsoever, except as vessels of God's personal concern for her.

This is how the cynical bastards who are running the mega-churches and media-based cults that have come to dominate America's diseased understanding of "religion" operate. They make the rubes think it's all about them. Pregnant teens, illegal immigrants, queers, intellectuals, drug addicts, bums, Darwinists, and cleaning ladies are all props in the drama of their Personal Salvation.

Christian teachings have always played a huge role in our national character, and the cleaning lady may very well have been putting a deeply inculcated Sunday School Morality into action when she offered help to a stranger. If so, the Church Lady took a big shit on that tradition, missing her chance to take communion in the One True Church - that of the children of God, coming together in the Spirit.

On the other hand, maybe the Cleaning Lady was just being nice, and the Church Lady was just being an asshole.

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